Resources
Here's where to find things to inspire, develop skills, build confidence and mindsets.
This page will be constantly updated and eventually become a multi-page directory.
Your suggestions are welcome. Please use the Contact page.
Ted Talks for the Good Life
Two recommendations from Founding Member Kat:
https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_barber_a_foie_gras_parable?language=en&subtitle=en
https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_barber_how_i_fell_in_love_with_a_fish?language=en&subtitle=en
Fiction to soothe
Reading, and reading fiction in particular, lowers blood pressure, slows breathing and the heart rate, engages the parasympathetic nervous system.
Practised regularly, it increases empathy AND the ability to detach from emotional stimulus, as well as the brain's ability to make connections between diverse experiences.
How many of us read when things are well, then "can't get into a book" when we are stressed - sometimes for months at a time.
If you're struggling to read for pleasure, here are some fluffly jumper-like comfort books to remind you of the joys of life.
The Goodbye Cat by Hiro Arikawa
It was sobbing so loud that my neighbour called round to ask if I was allright.
It's a book about cats dying. Narrated by cats.
Buy it immediately.
What You are Looking for is in the Library
Another Japanese bestseller. A series of stories about people unhappy with their careers who find themselves accidentally in a suburban library and
This is a book about the importance of self-knowledge, and the importance of resisting the obvious solution and remaining open to 'the universe'. It is also a tribute to the wisdom and generosity of those who signpost us selflessly.
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day by Winifred Watson
Like lumps of powdered Turkish Delight, this is best enjoyed in an enormous feather bed whilst you are slightly unwell.
Is it 1930s chicklit? Or a carpe diem whose charm belies an urgent call to middle-aged women who've always conformed to do things differently, just for once, even if we don't know where it will lead?
I believe there is also a film. I haven't bothered.
The Cat That Walked By Himself by Rudyard Kipling
My favourite book as a child.
I do not join the rest of the world in seeing this as a parable about the domestication of animals and encourage you to read it as I do: as a study of the power of independence and a warning against allowing ourselves to exchange our wild spirits and freedom for comfort.
What Katy Did
A great reminder that losing everything can be the making of you and a gentle (if overtly moralistic) encouragement to seek joy in relationships and in truth rather than passing pleasures.
Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfield
Petra, Pauline and Posy's unintended careers as child stars, set against a distinctly midwar Britain's crumbling class system, becomes something else as an adult: a parable about knowing oneself and negotiating a frivolous world with intelligence and value.
Experiences to invigorate you
There is nothing like DOING to define your sense of self. How terrible would it be if Unplugged Ambition became a site of typists, separated by timezones,
Mountain and navigation courses from Graham Uney
Graham Uney was for several years paid to walk up and down Scafell Pike every day and observe what it was like. He now runs a range of courses (I took one back in 2019) that can help build your knowledge, skills and confidence in exploring the outdoors, from orientation to climbing to mountain leader training. (There are lots of outdoor careers available but qualifications will be q pre-requisite).
If you've grown up unable to do what most of our ancestors could do: navigate by the stars, build a fire, identify edible plants from poisonous ones, a weekend or longer spent with Graham could be a meanningful introduction to working with nature.
Coastal Foraging
I recommend Discover the Wild, founded by two seastruck individuals who happened to fall in love whilst discovering mussel breeding patterns in North Wales (this film I would watch).
I took a short course with them in September 2023 and was blown away by their ability to make me see and read coastal landscapes anew. I still don't fancy eating a cockle, though.
Foraging
Whilst foraging courses abound, I encourage you to discover your local environment and the abundance of edible or art-ready produce to be found.
Having someone tell you where to find goodies is like someone spoiling Santa for you. Explore, keep your eyes out, build a relationship with the world in your area.
Blackberries, wild garlic, damsons, sloes and elderflowers are great for beginners and abundant across the UK.
They lead quite naturally to a joyous afternoon or evening in the kitchen.
Cooking
Cooking can be both a performance: something we do for praise or attention, or therapeutic. Needless to say, my focus is on processes that are sensuous, involving and focused.
Sadly Andrew Whitley and Bread Matters no longer offer courses in artisan breadmaking (I took a week's course in 2006, transporting my precious starter in tupperware up the M6 in the footwell of the car, forgetting the heaters were on and arriving proudly with quite the bubbliest offering). The passion continues with Sourdough, who offer comprehensive classes grounded in gut health, traditional skills and environmental awareness.
But Ballymaloe Cookery School, where my Mum found solace and gathered inspiration at a challenging time in her life, not only farms vegetables and livestock, with an on-site dairy, giving a context to its cookery lessons, but runs courses of interest to anyone envisioning or planning self-sufficiency or small-scale farming, including beekeeping, foraging, small orchard management, keeping chickens, cheesemaking, homesteading and herbalism (and more).
Friends speak very highly of River Cottage courses. Indeed after taking Pig In a Day one couple I know decided firmly against becoming part-time butchers, which of course is just as wonderful an outcome as deciding to deciding to steam ahead. It's all self-knowledge. Again, River Cottage courses go beyond the kitchen to consider charcuterie, smallholding management, smoking, fermentation, cheesemaking and foraging. I took a thrilling mushroom foraging course with them some years ago and am still known in some parts as "the mushroom lady".
Sadly the artisan chocolatier I trained with is now a Head Chocolatier at Nestle and no longer teaching. It's like some people are on the opposite path to us! Chocolate work requires precision and accuracy and many weeks and months of practice. It is however a very quick way to generate an additional income stream and grow a small business (as I did!).
I must recommend (as I came very close to studying with them) Cordon Bleu for patisserie and chocolatier training. The costs are not inconsiderable. Callebaut also run some workshops in many countries.
I have spent many a pleasant day in the kitchen of a grandmother in India thanks to Viator competitors, often with their grandson acting as an unnecessary translator. If you are travelling, an in-home local cookery class can be transofrmative in your understanding of how local people live and how food should be cooked.
My favourite Campsites
Camping is a wonderful experience as you explore unplugging, non-materialsm and connectedness with nature. Don't let that family holiday in 1992 put you off forever: campsites, partly due to the prevalence of online reviews, now have great facilities. No luxury hotel in the world beats the best campsites for views, experience, privacy and memorability. I don't think Hilton let you build a fire and toast marshmallows, even if you get a suite.
I've camped all of these sites solo (in a tent) and recommend them for their peacefulness, place on earth as well as their facilities(because we're not ANIMALS!)
These are the creme de la creme and I share them somewhat reluctantly because a beloved campsite brings out a possessiveness in me normally reserved for lovers.
Scottish one with sunset
If you want a Saturday night here you'll need to book months in advance.
Just three private pitches, complete with private firepits and estuary views, all a 15 minute drive from the shabby-boho (that's a compliment in my book) mid-Wales town Macynlleth.
Just beware the sands....being swallowed up by them is a possibility.
Stunning sunsets, massive pitches (you can forget the 'neighbours'), mountain hiking from your tent, immaculate facilities. Brilliant first campsite. North Wales.
Mid-Wales
This insanely uncommercial site (who want you to email them, not book online, and will then walk you around all 20 or so pitches so you can choose your favourite - they're wildly different) is a five minute walk from the Barmouth cycle path (glorious).
In woods camping is hard to find in the UK. Cefn Coed does it nicely and each pitch is very private - perfect if dancing around a fire is part of your healing process!
Almost unbelievably they offer a hot Full Welsh breakfast to your tent door at a pre-arranged time.
You'll have to compromise a little on facilities but it's worth it.
Ben Nevis Campsite
It's not JUST the location (but that's unbeatable...you can hike the Ben from your tent), but the spirit of hope and triumph that makes a stay here special. Everyone is either climbing tomorrow, or climbed today. It's bonding.
Fabuous breakfasts on site. The most insanely well equipped campsite shop ever (offering multiple brands and sizes of Champagne for that post-ascent celebration). Decent pub a quarter mile up the road as well as the very welcome one on the way back down.
Scottish one on sunset beach
A good beginners site, though one of the priciest campsites in the UK if you choose a pitch with 'the view' (and why come, else?). To be totally avoided in high season and school holidays. Possible to enjoy the out of the world views and deserted beach in shoulder season midweek.
Bascially: heaven on earth except for the other people.
Wild Camping
Solo wild camping is the best way I know to change your perspective and concept of yourself in a single night.
Wild camping is legal in Scotland, the Lake District and in other areas of the UK. It is legal in most other places of the world, with restrictions.
Please do your research on leaving no lasting impact.
Solo Escapes
The reason I focus on 'solo' is that understanding yourself well enough to make big life choices with confidence is much more about spending time with yourself, observing yourself and building trust in your capabilities than it is about bouncing ideas off others.
A solo break is a good way to live with a decision you've made internally but not acted on as you get used to this new you without the environment or connections dragging you back.
Catania
The almost incredible history of Sicily. The architectural wealth of several civilizations. The incredible food, the cerulean sea and towering over it all...the mighty Etna (yes you can go up the live volcano). Day trips by train are a doddle. The markets are heaving with tempting produce (though I was laughed at when wanting to buy four tomatoes. "No one buys four tomatoes. I give you 15".
You'll feel safe, inconspicuous as a solo, and have a wealth of options. The ice cream is incredible of course.
Udaipur
I am planning my 19th trip to India, and intending to take m companion to Udaipur as a perfect first stop on her first visit to the country.
It has an almost Southern European / North African feel. It's small enough to make wandering around feel simple, and there are easy cafes to chill out in as well as that remarkable (though very polluted) lake.
Austrian Alps
The cheapest way to spend your entire day in the Alps. Of course there are cable car options if the (gentle) downward stroll is too strenuous. Be Heidi for a few days.
Yoga
The Instagrammification of yoga is the decade's great tragedy. It's really nothing to do with looking good in Lululemon.
I started yoga at 38. It is transforming. It is also a world full of bad teachers, exploitation, sexualisation and a rejection of the spirituality that is the heart of Yoga.
A reminder that yoga means balance - in life, between breath and body, between effort and relxation.
In general the more adamant a person is that they don't want to do yoga, the more I know they need it.
Pranayama
Pranayama is the practice of controlling the breath and through it the parasympathetic nervous system. The practice can be calming or stimulating and rapidly increases lung capacity.
Once learned and practised (it gets easier very quickly) pranayama offers instant relief from stress or anxiety as well as through
Asana
Asana is the physical practice of holding poses which increase strength and lung capacity, improve muscle flexibility, activate the vagus nerve (promoting rest and relxation) and develop concentration and self-awareness.
Yama
Yama is the active practice of good works, such as compassion.
Niyama
The active practice of refraining from practices harmful to oneself or others, such as drinking alcohol or eating meat.
My Favourite Hikes
I have found time and over that things look very different on the way down from the summit. If you're in turmoil, simply: ascend a mountain.
Cadir Idris
Snowdon without the crowds has become the unofficial slogan. It's a straightforward hike,
Schiehallion
Easily accessible mountain prone (in my three ascents) to dramati
The Snowdon Week:
Ascend Snowdon by a different path every day, and take an alternate route down. If not solo, then with only the most erudite and wise of companions.
I can think of few if any better ways to invest a week in your clarity of mind. You'll also get bloody fit.
Snowdon South Ridge
You can still ascend Snowdon without the crowds if you take this route. It's also flat for the first 45 minutes.
Ben Nevis
Yes you'll be pretty knackered for the last hour but technically, it's not a difficult route if you take the Tourist Path. The summit really is a series of surprises. Memorable.
Coastal Path
The Coastal Paths I've walked in Italy, England, Wales, Scotland
Books to strengthen your spirit
The Tree of Yoga B.S Iyengar
Yoga isn't all about physical movement and Insta poses. At heart it is about achieving balance in our lives through breathwork, meditation,
The Tree of Yoga, a yoga Bible, explores how to apply the yogic philosophy to everyday life, including * Childhood and parenthood * Love * Death * Faith - hope and spirituality *
Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
A meditative memoir and study of the rhythms of human life and especially of the importance of hibernation - literal and figurative - before a period of growth. Beautifully written, no one I've recommended this to has done anything but love it.
The Gift: Creativity and The Artist in the Modern World by Lewis Hyde
A life-changing book for anyone who identifies as an artist or creator and wants to understand the strange power that they can command (and which sometimes deserts them). Part tribute to the artist's gift, partly an exhortation for better recognition of the contribution artists make, it is a book like no other.
This book helps you to conceive of your talents differently and
It is both democratic
I have a recurring fantasy of making a CEO demanding more content faster read this. In some South German dungeon. Naked.
The Art of Travel by Alain de Boton
Why do we long to travel? Why does spending time in remote locations calm us? What is 'travel' as opposed to 'a vacation'?
The Journey out is always the journey in, according to this much loved gem
A six-hour hike on your doorstep can be more transformative and nourishing than two weeks in Dubai.
The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope
Not a book of easy answers. After first hearing of this book on LinkedIn and greedily ordering it on Amazon, I was frustrated that whilst Cope tells wonderful stories of his acquaintances and famous people who have discovered their great meaning, he does not tell you or even hint at how to find out what yours is!
Almost exactly one year after reading this book, and it sat on the back seat of my car all that time, I found my purpose. Life became easy, just as he describes, I was filled with energy and found it simple to cut off people and activities that were time-draining. There was no effort any more: just doing, productively, and enjoying the benefits of my work for others.
I don't think it's a coincidence. And so I recommend it to you.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
Another book with a confusing title that was on the family bookshelf. I didn't actually read this until I was 30. As with so many defining works, it's become watered down in the popular imagination, it's nuanced and evidenced argument for reconceptualising how we label and interpret 'fear'
The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim
I have probably recommended this book more than any other. It simply explains why fairy stories matter.
I am aware of the controversy that has followed Bettelheim's suicide at 86, particularly in relation to misdiagnosis and treatment of children with autism.
I retain the belief that he has left a body of work of profound importance in understanding our psyche and that this is a wonderful, non-threatening and diverting book to read for anyone looking to reflect on their own childhood needs and how they may or may not have been met.
The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks
Recommended to me by a LinkedIn Connection, this may begin somewhat damp and limply.
Like listening to a friend in the pub work up passion over the course of an evening, the book unfolds
Chapter 7: Vocations not Professions is like napalm to the corporate mind. With every sentence Brooks lights a fire of burning purification, destroying any lingering If nothing else, read or listen to that (available as a free audiobook on Spotify).
Books with alternative critiques of the corporate mindset
Slow Productivity
A book that skirts around the edges of true issues, tiptoeing politely back into line when it starts to veer towards anything truly provocative, Slow Productivity is a book you can claim on expenses and tag on LinkedIn because it's essentially about redefining productivity without too often questioning the purpose to which that
Despite that,
White Tiger by Aravind Ariga
"India's class struggle in a globalized context," White Tiger remains, approaching 20 years since it was written, shocking in its depiction of how state, corporations, business people can range and rage against individual hopes and dreams.
A lot of what I suspect we will talk about on this site - white, middle-class - really needs centering in
Orbiting the Giant Hairball, A Corporate Fool's Guide to Surviving With Grace - Recommendation by Sue Melone
I treasure this unique little book. The author, Gordon MacKenzie, worked as an artist for Hallmark Cards. He shares his insight into society, corporate life and how our environment works to extinguish our unique gifts. The end of the book chokes me up every time:
"Today I wield a wider brush - pure ox-bristle. And I am swooping it through sensuous goo of Cadmium Yellow, Alizarin Crimson of Ultramarine Blue (not Nos. 4, 13 or 8) to create the biggest, brightest, funniest, fiercest damn dragon that I can. Because that has more to do with what's inside of me that some prescribed plagiarism of somebody else's tour de force.
You have a masterpiece inside of you, too, you know. One unlike any that has ever been created and ever will be.
And remember:
If you go to your grave
without painting
your masterpiece,
it will not
get painted.
No one else
can paint it.
Only you."
Devil on a Cross by Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o
For a take on corporate corruption to inspire a just anger, this 1980 Kenyan (Gikuyu - Ngugi translated his own work into English) novel can't be beat. Neo-colonialism, oppression and resistance and the painful, troubled quest to assert human dignity in the face of exploitation, this is a study of the souls of those who would grow rich by destroying the lives of others, and of how those others face temptation, confusion and conflict in their resistance.
To Have or To Be by Erich Fromm
Published before I was born, I do not remember a time when this was not on our family bookcase.
As familiar as you may be with the idea of being and acting being our defining characteristics, rather than what we own, Fromm's influential book from 1976 talks about how we still apply ideas of ownership to concepts such as love and faith,
There is of course an entire world of Frommian philosophy to explore, but this one is where I started and so where, if you aren't familiar with Fomm's basic tenet - that humans have been uprooted from their evolutionary relationship with nature and are left without instincts to guide them in a changing world - you begin.
Vanlife influencers who aren't faking it
The only person writing on vanlife who I think is the real deal when it comes to talking about making the move is Offgrid in a Van with Sequins (on Spotify).
If you're interested in peeing, parking, waste disposal, surviving the cold, getting work on the move and finding water rather than posing in a bikini top of the A65, check her out.
She's At The Wheel Vanlife (also spotify) has useful episodes on dealing with the heat, campervan electrics, and also has super relatable eps on first day living in the van, two week anniversary (mine is tomorrow!!!!) but for me it's all a little over emoted: at the end of the day it's not some epic adventure. It's just living in a van.
A LOT of vanlifers in the public eye are not what they seem. A lot you'll see on social have as a key income stream, promoting van life.
Most real van lifers have deconnected from socials to a great extent, as it's a core part of the experience to not be enslaved to the beeps and rings.
Theatre to feel alive
Der Gute Mensch Von Sezchuan / The Good Woman of Sezchuan by Bertholt Brecht
This is really hard to catch a performance of these days, but for 30 years this play haunted me.
It's about a woman trying to run a business who is so unable to stand up for herself as herself she invents and becomes a male cousin.
Ask the experts and this is a
To me it remains a play about the : be a woman OR be good at business.
Podcasts that do more than pass the time
Huberman Lab
Huberman has lost a lot of respect in my eyes with the stories that came out about him earlier in 2024.
For in-depth (his podcasts average two hours, not the twenty minutes with which other big name podcasters claim to be able to wrap up a top
The role of gut health in meantal health, procraMenopause
Therapy Uncensored
Two middle-aged female therapists chatting. What's not to love. On Spotify and YouTube.
A playlist
I know it's a bit soppy but I made a playlist for you all x